Sometimes life gets a little tough. The sun is hiding behind the clouds and everything is not right. Every conversation is a hopeless attempt to pull the relationship from the tar pit while slowly slipping ever deeper in the mire. When these kinds of hard times befall a couple, there are always options. You can begin sawing things in half and fighting over the Billy Joel albums. You can orchestrate complicated parenting schedules while you try to explain to your three year old why the other is not going to be around as much anymore. You can also think about fixing your marriage.
Can you, once again, find that sweet man that held your gaze so many years ago. Can you ever see that young girl again, with the big eyes and the curly hair? How do you revisit those tender, tingly, feelings of yesteryear that you remember so vividly? It’s not as impossible as we make it sometimes. You must unlearn what you have learned. Trust me, it’s better than the alternative. Love is not for quitters.
Tips To Holding On To Your Marriage
- Try Harder: Just give one hundred percent all the time. If you can’t do that, then take up a hobby or get a pet. Go on plenty of vacations by yourself or get a new job where you’re gone most of the time. The point is, it’s not for sissies. Find pleasure in making things wonderful for your partner. See yourself and your life together through their eyes and do what you can do to make it extra special. It doesn’t take that much. Chop wood and carry water.
- Forgive and Forget: Of course they mess up all the time. How can one person be so imperfect? It’s amazing. The problem here is that you are such a completely perfect individual that it’s a constantly slow and difficult trudge working with, and living with other people’s tangled gibberish. Be patient with them and let their silliness run down your back like water off a Labrador. Think or them as an uncooked biscuit. Just not completely done yet.
- Enjoy Them: Yes, they are insane but some of that beautiful, twisted weirdness is what got you into them in the first place. Sure, you can believe they’ve gone too far over the edge. Oh no! It’s too late! You can pack the truckster and hang your hat on another coat rack, but it just might not be as much fun. Remember how it was in the beginning when you actually thought they were a little funny. Or at least they thought they were funny. If you can’t laugh at their jokes, then just laugh at how dumb they are.
- Toughen Up: As you well know, this kind of thing is not for weaklings. It’s so hard sometimes and we make it harder by being rigid and sour. You think being married is tough? You think having a family that works together, in the same house, working together on life’s problems is tough. Try being alone in a public library bathroom, changing diapers on a sick baby, while the other child is, no doubt, with a homeless person somewhere wandering in traffic. And get this, if you are thinking of heading back into the dating scene, you are going to have to get back into shape. No one will care that you’ve had three children.
- Utilize New Resources: There are so many alternatives to counseling that you may want to explore. It’s easier than it used to be. Check out Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel. It’s a great tool box for resources you didn’t even know you had. Click through and subscribe to Mort’s “7 Secrets To Fixing Your Marriage” and get your free e-report today.
Mort Fertel is a worldwide authority on the psychology of relationships. We need all the help we can get. People from all over the world join the Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp and find ways to keep that fire burning. Also be sure to follow his social media sites on Facebook and Twitter.
— Jennifer Medeiros (@makobiscribe) April 21, 2016
Mort Fertel graduated from the University of Pennsylvania and now lives in Baltimore, Maryland with his wife and children. His Marriage Fitness Program is endorsed by marriage counselors, therapists, relationship experts, and mental health professionals. What do you have to lose, other than your family? Visit today.