“If I’m not back in five minutes… wait longer!”
Ace Ventura / Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Lucky Wood

“There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?”
Elaine / Airplane

Funny Facebook

“A condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night, and then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger.”
Marla Singer / Fight Club

Shooter McGavin: “I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.”
Happy Gilmore: “you eat pieces of shit for breakfast?”
Happy Gilmore

Funny Cartoon

“Whenever a big white man picks up a banjo, my cheeks tighten.”
Bob Munro / RV

Funny Movie Quotes To Start Your Day

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