Things have changed.  You’re divorced, broken up, or in an open relationship.  In other words, you’re a single woman and ready for sensual opportunities the world has to offer.  Casual dating is welcome but may be immediately intimidating.  Don’t fret.  Here are the rules for casual dating which help keep things stable as you get used to your role as a single lady.


When you’re in an awkward marriage or long-term relationship, honesty begins to fade.  You may find yourself hiding or denying the truth or downright lying to your partner to save their feelings or keep them from knowing your thoughts and actions.  However, when you’re single, there’s no reason for lying and denying.  You don’t have to feel guilty for your feelings and intentions.  Just be honest with those you date, whether that means you just want them for a fling or consider seeing them again.


Married people and those in serious relationships have expectations.  When you’re just dating, there should be little expectation.  If you’re casually dating it means that things need to remain breezy, like a light and fickle summer wind.  If you can’t handle seeing someone who is unattached and has no obligations to you after a hookup, then you need to reevaluate your situation.  Casual dating is not interchangeable with ‘secretly serious.’


Of course, you should always be safe and use protection, but this is especially necessary if you’re dating casually.  It’s likely that you don’t know your partners very well and have no idea about what they do or who they do it with when they’re not with you.  You have a responsibility to yourself and current and future partners to respect your body and keep free of sexual diseases.


Alcohol has been used as a social lubricant since the first time a glass of wine was poured.  It’s fine to let loose and have fun but don’t get too drunk to the point that you lower your standards or can’t make clear decisions, the kind of decisions you may later regret.  Furthermore, some people are quick to take advantage of those who are under the influence.  Have fun but keep alert.

Social Media

Sure, sending racy pictures is fun, right?  However, you may have laughed at a picture of a  guy in a compromising position with a bunch of your friends.  Don’t think guys are not doing the same thing.  If you send a picture of yourself, don’t be completely convinced that it won’t be shown to the receiver’s friends, or worse, uploaded to the Internet and shared via social media.  There are entire sites featuring  pictures and videos of current and ex girlfriends!


If you have a booty call type of relationship with another person, it is not appropriate to stop by or make regular phone calls.  For one, you may scare the other person away.  Secondly, they may have such relations going with several people, and if you randomly show up at their door or on their phone id, it may alienate other people they meet from or make for an awkward encounter.  Uninvited visits and regular calls or texts are strictly prohibited and violate the rules of casual relationships.


For some guys, sleeping is not synonymous with ‘just had sex.’  If you have sex with a partner, don’t assume they want to cuddle and sleep next to you throughout the night.  Casually dating means that you’re willing to have sex without any emotional connection.  It’s awkward and not preferred by some people, but if you’re unwilling to remain emotionally detached, casual dating is not for you.

Self Respect

No one should judge you or influence the way you feel about yourself.  If you’re willing to sleep with a person and see them casually or never again, it’s your choice.  Married friends, or those who are single but against casual encounters, may have reservations about booty calls but they should not judge you or have influence on your self respect.  Self respect should not be affected by those other than yourself.


There is little to no room for jealousy in casual relationships.  Sure, if he says that another woman is cuter than you or sex with her is more enjoyable, it’s only human to feel a tinge of jealousy.  But if you’re having a casual relationship with another person, it’s better to act like a friend rather than a ‘girlfriend.’  Otherwise, it’s likely the relationship will end or the other person will feel offended that you violated the unspoken rules of a ‘just sex’ partnership.

Kieran Murphy has worked as a relationship counselor for close to 15 years now. He is an online contributor for women’s lifestyle blogs and relationship sites where he shares his wisdom or all aspects of love, sex and dating.