Last week, my husband ended the week with 305.6 and now he is 302.1 so that makes a total loss so far of (my god the math involved in losing weight is ridiculous!) 9.9 pounds. That is so not fair and I am not speaking to him until I lose at least one pound. Good thing he is on the road or I would literally kick him! Noah is a trucker, so he is on the road for 2 more weeks or so. He was a little more cooperative this week in his interview and had the following to say:

Noah-Do not ever feed me the Buffalo Soy Pretzel Chip things again. They taste horrible and I gave them all away to a homeless guy.

Me– Noah, really? You should have just brought them home and we could have switched out snacks. I like them (whatever he is talking about–I think he mixed the nacho chips with the Pretzel twists, but I know he is talking about the Soy Crisps) Why do you always do stuff like that. Now you will be short those snacks.

Noah– Whatever Jen, they were gross. They were taking up too muck room and I knew they were there.

Me – A bag of chips (mind you it can fit in the palm of your hand) takes up too much room.

Noah – The homeless guy liked them. I gave him 8 bags. Don’t get them again. Get Buffalo Pretzels they are my favorite. (scroll up–see he is crazy mixed his favorite and his least favorite into one non-existent product)

Me – Okay. Don’t give anymore food away because I know you when you come home you will eat mine and I will starve- Literally without my dessert. (My treat of the day- BTW we are both very dramatic)

Noah – But I fed the homeless. He was hungry and you gained weight so you don’t need it.

Me – Whatever. Ugh.

Noah – You want to know what else I like (He is now chipper cause I gained weight/complaining about no dessert)

Me – Yeah (seems like this conversation turned on me?)

Noah – The scones. They are good. I’ll eat them. Oh, and the eggs are gone. So I guess those were all right. (I made him hard boiled eggs to take) Can I eat 14 cans of asparagus? It says unlimited. So…can I?

Me– I guess. Why would you want to? Are you hungry?

Noah – No. I just wanted to know if I could. I mean unlimited is a lot of asparagus.

Me – What was your favorite lunch and dinner (I am ignoring him)

Noah – Chef Boy R De and Macaroni Grill Alfredo (he means the lunch item ravioli and the dinner item Chicken Alfredo Fettuccine)

Me – I have to order for you. Anything you want?

Noah – NO SOY CRISP NACHO WANNA BE CHIPS. They aren’t chips. They aren’t close. They are gross. If you give them to me again I will feed other people.

Me – I love you.

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