Real-life relationships do not look like the ones we watch in Disney films. The films seem as if we are watching the highlight reel to a couple’s relationship; when the cameras stop rolling how does Prince Charming really treat Snow White? All couples go through rough times, but there is a stark difference between having problems and things you should not tolerate. Pay attention to destructive behaviors that would make any relationship head toward a dead end.
Intense Anger: Every person gets angry and loses their temper at times, but most adults are stable enough to control their emotions. However, some people are downright scary and even resort to violence when they are angry. In worst situations, some people think violence is the only way to deal with their anger, which is destructive for them as well as the people in relationships with them. Never tolerate a person who is abusive with their language or grows violent – hitting, shoving, or throwing objects at you.
Outside Affairs: Love and relationships are based on trust and mutual respect. A person that would ‘cheat’ on you is not a person who respects you nor should you trust them. There may be exceptions when people can get over a mate cheating on them, but those are very few instances. Do not tolerate a man or woman who is overly flirtatious with another or has cheated on you. Understand it’s not about you, but them. You deserve better, and the longer you stay with such a person is the longer you’ll have to wait for true love.
Disrespectful Language: As most know, language can be just as hurtful as physical conflict. Some lovers, due to jealousy, learned habit, or psychological disturbance, are verbally abusive to partners. What’s worse is they may use disrespectful language to control or intimidate mates into being submissive and accepting it as ‘normal’ behavior. Sometimes, people say hurtful things out of anger, which is also wrong, yet those who love you will seldom do that if ever. Do not tolerate disrespectful language or a person who tries to control you with threats or belittling language.
Equal Rights: Regardless of which partner has more money, a larger living space, or a more prestigious job, healthy relationships require each partner to be seen as an equal. Do not put up with a person who calls attention to their contribution to the relationship and compares it to your shortcomings. Relationships are like partnerships; each partner has equal power and both parties are needed to succeed. Some may even try to get you to engage in criminal behavior, such as selling drugs. If you find yourself in trouble with the law, contact an experienced criminal defense lawyer that can handle felony drug charges.
Total Control: Abusers start controlling mates by isolating them from friends and family. It may start with requesting that you spend more time with them or expressing disappointment when you ‘choose’ to be with your friends or family instead of them. Slowly, an abusive person will try to get you to spend all of your time with them, which does not allow you to be yourself or be exposed to those who care about you. A person who loves you wants you to be happy and will understand when you want to spend time with your friends and family, maybe even offer to spend time with those people too. Don’t accept a person who wants all of your time and attempts to alienate you from friends and family.
White Lies: There is no such thing as a ‘white’ lie. Either the person is telling the truth or they are keeping it from you. Sure, telling you that you’re going out for dinner only to get there to find that it’s really a surprise party for you is totally different. However, if you catch your mate in a lie, even if you think it’s a small lie, be wary of more to come. Actually, telling a small lie is a bit more alarming because it may be proof that your mate is a duplicitous person and often does it. Don’t tolerate a person who lies to you, regardless of the ‘size’ or ‘color’ of the lie.
Unaccepted Persons: You may not be in your first relationship. Some people who are actively dating have children from past relationships and marriages. While the person you’re dating may not have children of their own, they need to completely accept that you do. Do not tolerate a person who does not like children or prefers to be alone with you rather than accept your child as an integral part of your life.
Paige Daniels has been in a couple of bad relationships over the years. She wants to reach out to others, particularly women, and share her story and knowledge to help others make the right decisions when it comes to love.